How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? Check out this clip for some helpful tips.
Hat tip to Allahpundit from hotair.com for finding this gem.
Here We Go Again ...
3 years ago
Monday, April 27, 2009
Jonah and the Dag Gadol (Big Fish)
The story of Jonah and the whale is known by almost every single, breathing being living under the influence of Western culture. However, it is also one of the most misrepresented stories of the Bible. Everyone who has heard the story has not necessarily been duped, the story has just been misunderstood, and the misinformation has been spread many times over.
Think of the Veggie Tales movie Jonah and the Big Fish. Jonah, played by Archibald Asparagus, has disobeyed God's words. Instead of going to Nineveh like God commanded, he stows away with Pirates Who Don't Do Anything™ and sails in the opposite direction to Tarshish. Along the way a great storm comes upon the ship, so the pirates, played by Larry the Cucumber, Pa Grape, and Mr. Lunt, decide to play a game of Go-Fish to know with whom God is angry. (In the orginal book, upon which the movie is based, the sailors actually cast lots.) Jonah loses the game, so Larry and the boys throw him overboard with a showercap and a rubber-duckie life preserver. Immediately, the seas grow calm, but Jonah is suddenly swallowed by a whale. (Fade to Black.) In the next scene, pitiful Jonah is stuck in the belly of the whale, with his traveling buddy Khalil and no possible means of escape. Fortunately, God has pity on Jonah, and the whale starts rockin' like an Alabama gospel church during a hot summer Sunday. (That's really what happens in the movie.) As we all know the whale hurls his lunch and Jonah onto dry land, and God saves Jonah from his predicament.
No doubt this interpretation of the story has been influenced by the movie Pinnochio where Gipedo, Pinnochio's not-yet-biological father, has been swallowed by the whale, Monstro, and is trapped in the big behemoth's stomach. When your name is Monstro, you are probably not the good guy of the story, and unfortunately he has probaly given many whales all across the seven seas a bad name. You would have thought that the movie Free Willy would have changed people's prejudices against whales. Well, the whale of the Jonah story is not really that bad of a guy. (There is no Hebrew word for whale, so yeah, I do think the dag gadol of Jonah was a whale.)
Take a close look at Jonah 2:1-10. After the sailors toss Jonah over and he is swallowed by the whale (Jonah 1:17), this is what the text states: "1 Then Jonah prayed to the LORD his God from the stomach of the fish, 2 and he said, "I called out of my distress to the LORD, And He answered me. I cried for help from the depth of Sheol; You heard my voice. 3 "For You had cast me into the deep, Into the heart of the seas, And the current engulfed me. All Your breakers and billows passed over me. 4 "So I said, 'I have been expelled from Your sight. Nevertheless I will look again toward Your holy temple.' 5 "Water encompassed me to the point of death. The great deep engulfed me, Weeds were wrapped around my head. 6 "I descended to the roots of the mountains. The earth with its bars was around me forever, But You have brought up my life from the pit, O LORD my God. 7 "While I was fainting away, I remembered the LORD, And my prayer came to You, Into Your holy temple. 8 "Those who regard vain idols Forsake their faithfulness, 9 But I will sacrifice to You With the voice of thanksgiving. That which I have vowed I will pay. Salvation is from the LORD." 10 Then the LORD commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah up onto the dry land."
This is clearly a prayer of salvation, a prayer of thanksgiving, but when did Jonah pray this prayer? It was not when the fish had spit him onto dry land, it was when the fish had swallowed him. Eject the visions of Gipedo Monstro's stomach from your head and ask yourself, what would make being swallowed by a whale so awesome! If you haven't figured it out, think about this. Jonah was cast into the raging sea. Now this isn't your mama's raging sea. This sea was so bad that the ship was about to break apart and the sailors were freakin' out (Jonah 1:4-5). It was so bad that when Jonah told the sailors to throw him overboard, they asked God to forgive them for shedding innocent blood because they knew Jonah wouldn't survive in that water (Jonah 1:14). According to Jonah's prayer, when he was thrown overboard he started to drown! Look at his prayer again, and you will see that he was sinking down to the depths of the seas and was about to die. In the last moments of his life he called out to God, and what does Jonah say God did for him. "You brought my life up from the pit!" How did God bring Jonah up from the depths of the sea? He appointed a whale to swallow him and save his life. So while hanging out in whale bile for three days may not have been as awesome as people advertise, it was way better than death.
In the story of Jonah the whale does not represent God's punishment, but rather His mercy, His mercy toward Jonah who had disobeyed his words. So next time you hear someone dissing on whales. Let them know that not all whales are bad. Unlike Monstro, some are nice and are willing to swallow you when you need it.
(Yes, I know that in Jonah 1:15 it states that when the sailors threw Jonah into the sea that it stopped its raging, but we have to assume from the context of chapter 1 and chapter 2 that the calming of the sea wasn't instantaneous. There was at the least enough time for Jonah to go under and starting drowning.)
Think of the Veggie Tales movie Jonah and the Big Fish. Jonah, played by Archibald Asparagus, has disobeyed God's words. Instead of going to Nineveh like God commanded, he stows away with Pirates Who Don't Do Anything™ and sails in the opposite direction to Tarshish. Along the way a great storm comes upon the ship, so the pirates, played by Larry the Cucumber, Pa Grape, and Mr. Lunt, decide to play a game of Go-Fish to know with whom God is angry. (In the orginal book, upon which the movie is based, the sailors actually cast lots.) Jonah loses the game, so Larry and the boys throw him overboard with a showercap and a rubber-duckie life preserver. Immediately, the seas grow calm, but Jonah is suddenly swallowed by a whale. (Fade to Black.) In the next scene, pitiful Jonah is stuck in the belly of the whale, with his traveling buddy Khalil and no possible means of escape. Fortunately, God has pity on Jonah, and the whale starts rockin' like an Alabama gospel church during a hot summer Sunday. (That's really what happens in the movie.) As we all know the whale hurls his lunch and Jonah onto dry land, and God saves Jonah from his predicament.
No doubt this interpretation of the story has been influenced by the movie Pinnochio where Gipedo, Pinnochio's not-yet-biological father, has been swallowed by the whale, Monstro, and is trapped in the big behemoth's stomach. When your name is Monstro, you are probably not the good guy of the story, and unfortunately he has probaly given many whales all across the seven seas a bad name. You would have thought that the movie Free Willy would have changed people's prejudices against whales. Well, the whale of the Jonah story is not really that bad of a guy. (There is no Hebrew word for whale, so yeah, I do think the dag gadol of Jonah was a whale.)
Take a close look at Jonah 2:1-10. After the sailors toss Jonah over and he is swallowed by the whale (Jonah 1:17), this is what the text states: "1 Then Jonah prayed to the LORD his God from the stomach of the fish, 2 and he said, "I called out of my distress to the LORD, And He answered me. I cried for help from the depth of Sheol; You heard my voice. 3 "For You had cast me into the deep, Into the heart of the seas, And the current engulfed me. All Your breakers and billows passed over me. 4 "So I said, 'I have been expelled from Your sight. Nevertheless I will look again toward Your holy temple.' 5 "Water encompassed me to the point of death. The great deep engulfed me, Weeds were wrapped around my head. 6 "I descended to the roots of the mountains. The earth with its bars was around me forever, But You have brought up my life from the pit, O LORD my God. 7 "While I was fainting away, I remembered the LORD, And my prayer came to You, Into Your holy temple. 8 "Those who regard vain idols Forsake their faithfulness, 9 But I will sacrifice to You With the voice of thanksgiving. That which I have vowed I will pay. Salvation is from the LORD." 10 Then the LORD commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah up onto the dry land."
This is clearly a prayer of salvation, a prayer of thanksgiving, but when did Jonah pray this prayer? It was not when the fish had spit him onto dry land, it was when the fish had swallowed him. Eject the visions of Gipedo Monstro's stomach from your head and ask yourself, what would make being swallowed by a whale so awesome! If you haven't figured it out, think about this. Jonah was cast into the raging sea. Now this isn't your mama's raging sea. This sea was so bad that the ship was about to break apart and the sailors were freakin' out (Jonah 1:4-5). It was so bad that when Jonah told the sailors to throw him overboard, they asked God to forgive them for shedding innocent blood because they knew Jonah wouldn't survive in that water (Jonah 1:14). According to Jonah's prayer, when he was thrown overboard he started to drown! Look at his prayer again, and you will see that he was sinking down to the depths of the seas and was about to die. In the last moments of his life he called out to God, and what does Jonah say God did for him. "You brought my life up from the pit!" How did God bring Jonah up from the depths of the sea? He appointed a whale to swallow him and save his life. So while hanging out in whale bile for three days may not have been as awesome as people advertise, it was way better than death.
In the story of Jonah the whale does not represent God's punishment, but rather His mercy, His mercy toward Jonah who had disobeyed his words. So next time you hear someone dissing on whales. Let them know that not all whales are bad. Unlike Monstro, some are nice and are willing to swallow you when you need it.
(Yes, I know that in Jonah 1:15 it states that when the sailors threw Jonah into the sea that it stopped its raging, but we have to assume from the context of chapter 1 and chapter 2 that the calming of the sea wasn't instantaneous. There was at the least enough time for Jonah to go under and starting drowning.)
A Possible Agnostic Questions the Merits of Darwinism?
Check out this review from Ligonier Ministries. The book seems like it might be a good buy.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Why I Have Joined the Twitterverse
So by now, there are many people who have heard of Twitter, but refuse to join it. I can understand; I used to be in this camp a couple of weeks ago. I had many reasons: 1.) Why would I want to find out what people are up to when I am already deluged by that on facebook, especially by people who update their stati several times a day 2.) I don't know that many people who are on twitter 3.) Is it not vain for me to think that people really want to know what I am doing? The list could go on, but one day I decided to see just what all the buzz and excitement was.
My perception of Twitter has now changed. A little bit of knowledge on something really goes a long way. I discovered that for myself, Twitter had nothing to do with following friends' status updates. It is all about information.
Think about the things you like to keep up-to-date on. For me, I like to stay up on Sports, Politics, and Religion, but not necessarily in that order. Imagine what it would be like if someone who was in the know texted you as soon as they knew their information. Suppose you like to watch certain people who may make guest appearances on TV shows every now and then. Wouldn't it be awesome if that person texted you whenever they knew they were going to be on a certain show. Well that is Twitter and people that you like to watch on TV are on Twitter too, and they tell people what they are up to.
Here's how it has worked for me. I love sports and certain sports teams like the Kansas City Chiefs, the St. Louis Cardinals, and the Kentucky Wildcats (teams of places where I have lived). John Calipari the new headcoach of the UK basketball team is now on Twitter. I have become a follower of him on Twitter, which means that when he tweets (twitter slang for updating your status) updates about himself and the team, I get to see it. I have set my Twitter account up so that I can get tweets as texts messages (standard text rates apply, but not for me). Whenever John Calipari sends out info to the Big Blue faithful, I am instantly notified via a text message. I have this same set up with other people that I follow such as Al Mohler, Don Whitney (Religion), Bernie Misklasz, John Calipari (Sports), Michelle Malkin, Jake Tapper, and Karl Rove (Politics). Jake Tapper is the ABC White House Correspondent. He frequently tweets what is going on at the White House, and any breaking news he reports he texts (kinda) directly to my cell phone.
For me, Twitter is not about updating your status and seeing what your friends are up to. It is about getting instant information about the things that I care about most. That is why I have joined the Twitterverse. You can follow me anytime you like www.twitter.com/jwpilly.
My perception of Twitter has now changed. A little bit of knowledge on something really goes a long way. I discovered that for myself, Twitter had nothing to do with following friends' status updates. It is all about information.
Think about the things you like to keep up-to-date on. For me, I like to stay up on Sports, Politics, and Religion, but not necessarily in that order. Imagine what it would be like if someone who was in the know texted you as soon as they knew their information. Suppose you like to watch certain people who may make guest appearances on TV shows every now and then. Wouldn't it be awesome if that person texted you whenever they knew they were going to be on a certain show. Well that is Twitter and people that you like to watch on TV are on Twitter too, and they tell people what they are up to.
Here's how it has worked for me. I love sports and certain sports teams like the Kansas City Chiefs, the St. Louis Cardinals, and the Kentucky Wildcats (teams of places where I have lived). John Calipari the new headcoach of the UK basketball team is now on Twitter. I have become a follower of him on Twitter, which means that when he tweets (twitter slang for updating your status) updates about himself and the team, I get to see it. I have set my Twitter account up so that I can get tweets as texts messages (standard text rates apply, but not for me). Whenever John Calipari sends out info to the Big Blue faithful, I am instantly notified via a text message. I have this same set up with other people that I follow such as Al Mohler, Don Whitney (Religion), Bernie Misklasz, John Calipari (Sports), Michelle Malkin, Jake Tapper, and Karl Rove (Politics). Jake Tapper is the ABC White House Correspondent. He frequently tweets what is going on at the White House, and any breaking news he reports he texts (kinda) directly to my cell phone.
For me, Twitter is not about updating your status and seeing what your friends are up to. It is about getting instant information about the things that I care about most. That is why I have joined the Twitterverse. You can follow me anytime you like www.twitter.com/jwpilly.
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